The Sixth Sense

You know how they say when someone loses one sense that it sharpens others? Well, I have spent the majority of my time in India not understanding what anyone is saying. I have described this in the past as something like background music that you almost learn to tune out. 

I realized something this week that I think I have developed somewhat of a sixth sense when I am here. It is amazing how much time I spend talking and thinking about what I am going to say next, but when that ability is almost completely taken away from me then something else kicks in. It is somewhat of an ability to read people and really clue into what is going on as opposed to what their words are saying.

For example, I rode in a cab home from the wedding with my sister in law and mother in law and the entire time they carried on a somewhat spirited conversation. I questioned my sister in law on what they were discussing and she immediately said it was how happy they were to have all the wedding pressure over and how well everything went. I knew immediately this was a lie and I just smiled and said- no I don't think that is it. She laughed and divulged the real story about some relative drama. 

I spend a lot of 'quiet' time sitting in the living room with our closest 30 relatives just observing and tuning in to gestures and body language. I notice a lot of insincere comments and forced smiles. Indian culture is complicated, and generally there is a lot of talking behind backs and 2 faced conversations.  I know some of the main offenders but also I am finding it is easy to spot the ones who are not.

I met a new Aunt this week who I have nicknamed Quiet Aunt. She is so calm and peaceful and seemingly unobtrusive. She came into my room this afternoon to give me a 'small' gift, which turned out to be a pair of 22 K gold dangle earrings. Amazing. It never ceases to amaze me about the kindness and generosity of my extended family members. There is apparently a certain level of obligation in Indian culture when you first meet a daughter in law, but I knew Quiet Aunt gave this from the heart which is extremely touching.

A cute older gentleman they call Gobra (yes, I do say cobra in my mind each time to remember) Kaku (uncle) has been watching me take ice cold water from the tiny freezer, and today he filled a bunch of small bottles he knew would freeze faster and put them in there for me. Such a small gesture that speaks volumes. Him and someone called Billi Uncle were my father in law's close friends so it is very considerate for them to show up at hisdaughter's  wedding in which he himself could not be present.

It is some of these small things I have picked up which makes India just a little bit easier to cope with.