This is a question I get often after announcing to friends, family, coworkers and random strangers that I am heading to India again. I never quite know how to reply since deep down I am not always that excited to go and honestly I sometimes feel a little guilty about that.
I wouldn't want to sound unappreciative of all the opportunities I have been granted. I consider my trips to India a privilege and something which has taught me valuable lessons in understanding, gratitude, strength, and compromise. I've learned things that cannot be found in a book or in school, something you have to experience and let it really soak into your soul and allow it to marinade for awhile to determine how you feel about it.
It is through these sometimes happy and sometimes sad, but always educational moments that I came to fully appreciate my opportunities to see another part of the world. It is for these reasons that I sometimes feel guilty about not wanting to go. While I love to see my extended family, the journey itself along with the climate, culture, and daily living is sometimes just exhausting. For a busy business professional, I take time off very seriously and I could never say that India is a 'vacation' for me, although I am away from my daily life and I do get to sometimes pretend to be a tourist but it isn't exactly like a week on a Mexican beach.
Although the thought of approaching anther trip to India makes me already feel exhausted, I also begin to reflect on how I have changed due to my travels there. As a Westerner, it would be hard to say that most of the daily sights of poverty, lack of resources, and general overcrowding don't strike me as humbling and overwhelming. But, it's way more than that. In spite of all these things, I can say in general things seem to work pretty well there. Most people get by no matter what the challenges. They find a way to get what they need and keep going. It is this Indian ingenuity which strikes me as one of the most charismatic traits of the Indian people I know. It is that 'make it work' mentality which keeps them going, in the face of whatever adversity comes their way. And what is more so is I so rarely hear a complaint or even feel a complaint. There is this level of thankfulness and acceptance that is hard to put your finger on, but it is everywhere. It is for this reason that I not only started to feel more grateful in my life, but come to understand that I can't control everything and I need to be more in tune with my own 'make it work' capabilities.
Growing up in a small Midwest US town, I thought I understood the meaning of hospitality and occlusion, but India brought this to a whole new level for me. I can think of so many experiences and instances where I was made to feel welcome by both strangers and non strangers. People who didn't always speak the same language as me, some who probably never saw anyone who looked like me and have no apparent reason to be nice to me- but did.
When I think about my overall treatment in India it is very much with a humble heart because of all of those who spoke to me with curious questions, took the time to ask me my opinion on something that is none of my business or whom just smiled because maybe they were shocked to see me and yet was happy to see me embracing their culture somehow.
Although the experiences of 2 Hindu weddings were extremely overwhelming in general, I was made to feel very included and involved. I don't think we can say that in every religion that an outsider would be brought right into the mix so easily, but I honestly feel that they wanted me there and they liked the fact that I was interested, respectful and had a desire to participate. Now, don't get me wrong, the act of living side by side with 40 of your extended family members is not for the faint of heart. Had someone spelled it out on paper for me how it was going to go down I surely would have burned my passport, but I wouldn't trade what I learned or how I grew as a person for anything.
Through the process of being an outsider, I also experienced the embarrassment of racism and discrimination. Having never encountered that in my life, it provided me with a new level of appreciation for those who do and has only made me more compassionate and understanding to those with any type of diversity and what they regularly experience.
It's difficult for me to quantify how these experiences have added value to my life, as well as challenged me to be a better person. Being exposed to new people, experiences, and norms allows you the opportunity to explore what you already know and choose how you feel about it and how/if you want to incorporate it into your life. Not knowing what else is out there gives you a siloed perspective and therefore those things will always seem wrong or strange. Not everything I have seen or experienced I like or I agree with, but I have been given the opportunity to choose and for that I am grateful.
For me, India has evoked such a wide range of feelings. I have never felt so valuable as when I was given such generous gifts by people who don't even know me. I also have felt an incredible loneliness as an entire room of people speak another language, not deliberately ignoring me but still making me feel invisible. I've been incredibly sad as I see little kids playing in their dirt yards and young women doing hard manual labor in the sun, as well as disabled people begging and disfigured kids running in the road asking for money and wondering if someone made them that way on purpose. I've felt an incredible sense of calm in ancient Hindu temples and seen a new level of devotion to things none of us understand.
I've seen things that sicken me, appall me, inspire me and invoke fear. I've been disappointed, shocked, surprised, saddened, amazed, amused, alienated, accepted, ashamed, astonished, critical, empty, and enraged. Sometimes all in the same day! I can never sufficiently give light to all these experiences and how they have added value to my life, but I can safely say I am a better person because of it.
I wouldn't want to sound unappreciative of all the opportunities I have been granted. I consider my trips to India a privilege and something which has taught me valuable lessons in understanding, gratitude, strength, and compromise. I've learned things that cannot be found in a book or in school, something you have to experience and let it really soak into your soul and allow it to marinade for awhile to determine how you feel about it.
It is through these sometimes happy and sometimes sad, but always educational moments that I came to fully appreciate my opportunities to see another part of the world. It is for these reasons that I sometimes feel guilty about not wanting to go. While I love to see my extended family, the journey itself along with the climate, culture, and daily living is sometimes just exhausting. For a busy business professional, I take time off very seriously and I could never say that India is a 'vacation' for me, although I am away from my daily life and I do get to sometimes pretend to be a tourist but it isn't exactly like a week on a Mexican beach.
Although the thought of approaching anther trip to India makes me already feel exhausted, I also begin to reflect on how I have changed due to my travels there. As a Westerner, it would be hard to say that most of the daily sights of poverty, lack of resources, and general overcrowding don't strike me as humbling and overwhelming. But, it's way more than that. In spite of all these things, I can say in general things seem to work pretty well there. Most people get by no matter what the challenges. They find a way to get what they need and keep going. It is this Indian ingenuity which strikes me as one of the most charismatic traits of the Indian people I know. It is that 'make it work' mentality which keeps them going, in the face of whatever adversity comes their way. And what is more so is I so rarely hear a complaint or even feel a complaint. There is this level of thankfulness and acceptance that is hard to put your finger on, but it is everywhere. It is for this reason that I not only started to feel more grateful in my life, but come to understand that I can't control everything and I need to be more in tune with my own 'make it work' capabilities.
Growing up in a small Midwest US town, I thought I understood the meaning of hospitality and occlusion, but India brought this to a whole new level for me. I can think of so many experiences and instances where I was made to feel welcome by both strangers and non strangers. People who didn't always speak the same language as me, some who probably never saw anyone who looked like me and have no apparent reason to be nice to me- but did.
When I think about my overall treatment in India it is very much with a humble heart because of all of those who spoke to me with curious questions, took the time to ask me my opinion on something that is none of my business or whom just smiled because maybe they were shocked to see me and yet was happy to see me embracing their culture somehow.
Although the experiences of 2 Hindu weddings were extremely overwhelming in general, I was made to feel very included and involved. I don't think we can say that in every religion that an outsider would be brought right into the mix so easily, but I honestly feel that they wanted me there and they liked the fact that I was interested, respectful and had a desire to participate. Now, don't get me wrong, the act of living side by side with 40 of your extended family members is not for the faint of heart. Had someone spelled it out on paper for me how it was going to go down I surely would have burned my passport, but I wouldn't trade what I learned or how I grew as a person for anything.
Through the process of being an outsider, I also experienced the embarrassment of racism and discrimination. Having never encountered that in my life, it provided me with a new level of appreciation for those who do and has only made me more compassionate and understanding to those with any type of diversity and what they regularly experience.
It's difficult for me to quantify how these experiences have added value to my life, as well as challenged me to be a better person. Being exposed to new people, experiences, and norms allows you the opportunity to explore what you already know and choose how you feel about it and how/if you want to incorporate it into your life. Not knowing what else is out there gives you a siloed perspective and therefore those things will always seem wrong or strange. Not everything I have seen or experienced I like or I agree with, but I have been given the opportunity to choose and for that I am grateful.
For me, India has evoked such a wide range of feelings. I have never felt so valuable as when I was given such generous gifts by people who don't even know me. I also have felt an incredible loneliness as an entire room of people speak another language, not deliberately ignoring me but still making me feel invisible. I've been incredibly sad as I see little kids playing in their dirt yards and young women doing hard manual labor in the sun, as well as disabled people begging and disfigured kids running in the road asking for money and wondering if someone made them that way on purpose. I've felt an incredible sense of calm in ancient Hindu temples and seen a new level of devotion to things none of us understand.
I've seen things that sicken me, appall me, inspire me and invoke fear. I've been disappointed, shocked, surprised, saddened, amazed, amused, alienated, accepted, ashamed, astonished, critical, empty, and enraged. Sometimes all in the same day! I can never sufficiently give light to all these experiences and how they have added value to my life, but I can safely say I am a better person because of it.
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