Forbidden Fun

I get asked a lot how different Indian weddings really are from American weddings. So, let’s see- where to start! Let’s start with timing. Dates are typically chosen based on astrology and how it works out with the guy and girl’s specific birthdays and other information. This generally means the wedding is going to take place on a weekday and sometimes late at night. Nobody seems to specifically mind and the festivities go on as planned.

The bride will typically wear red or pink in a Hindu wedding, although I suppose it varies some by region as everything does. What I know for sure is you don’t wear white. As a woman, only a widow would wear white which isn’t always practiced but still never a wedding color.

As the wedding begins, people typically spread out and either watch the wedding, visit with family members or just go off and eat. There seems to be no specific etiquette, just do as you please.  It’s almost comical to see most people not paying attention or talking loudly, in fact the wedding last night had loud party music playing the background which apparently wasn't an issue.

What you won’t find in most Hindu weddings is alcohol. It isn’t typically served out in the open, but what I’ve found to be an interesting outcome is that many younger folks will sneak around to have it. This act of defiance reminds me of my teenage years and makes it all the more fun when you know you aren’t ‘supposed to’. I’ve learned this about several forbidden things in India. Take the style of dressing for women here. Most people I know find it impossible to believe that women don’t wear shorts or show their legs or much else here. Yes, weather conditions are hot and it would be more comfortable to wear something lighter, but what I’ve found is there is something more elegant and exotic about the element of allure in the unseen. You might need some time for that to process, but honestly my exposure to India has changed my view on this topic a lot. I now find it a little uncomfortable and distasteful to be too exposed. It just feels unnecessary and excessive to me. Some might find it an oppressive idea that a woman is covered, but I see it the opposite as an act of power that one could control who and when sees what and how vs. being on display for the world to see.

Back to alcohol for a second, we managed a little pre wedding girls party in our room for the bride and all the younger girls. Booze provided courtesy of Roy, which is pretty unique, as you technically don’t drink in front of your elders here. All the more fun knowing it’s fairly forbidden and the rest of the family is just nearby. 

The boys had a party of their own- again, just the younger crowd away from the more conservative older guys. We exchanged some funny messages and all ended up having a great time until the late night hours!

More on the wedding to come.