Out of all the challenges faced in an interracial, cross-cultural, irreligion relationship, I sometimes feel like food remains high on the list.
It's one of these things that is so ingrained in your life you don't stop to think much about it until it changes. Throughout the years we have certainly undergone several changes and evolutions regarding a lot of topics, but food has not yet really become something that is 'settled'. It's difficult for most people I know to fully understand this impact, and maybe it is a human nature thing to make some level of assumption that everyone pretty much eats the same thing. Not having much exposure to other cultures, I never gave much thought to what other people ate but likely assumed it was pretty much the same stuff.
Turns out that is totally incorrect. I mean, there are so many possible foods that can be eaten, but the way they are assembled and flavored varies widely and what I have also learned is food is deeply rooted in culture, so when faced with regular changes it doesn't always feel comfortable.
I've probably incorrectly assumed that my husband didn't mind eating American food as much as we do, for all these years we have been together. I've remarked about this before, as somewhat of a misleading 'talent' he has of making things look so easy and invisible that I forget they may exist. I don't mean to be insensitive to his feelings, but I'm kinda a 'no news is good news person' and therefore, if he doesn't complain then everything must be ok. So, reality is that over the last 10 years we have eaten minimal Indian food on a regular basis. But, to be fair, we don't exactly eat 'American' food constantly either. Another realization I have had about food is that here we have the luxury of a HUGE variety of food types, tastes, textures, and volume. You virtually never need to eat the same thing more than once ever 6 months if you didn't want to- maybe more!
I don't even know what 'American' food is per se, unless we are talking about the roast beef and potatoes our forefathers used to eat.
My experience with Indian items and eating style in India is that much of the food looks, tastes, and is seasoned similarly. I realize that different regions eat differently (as they do here to some level in the US), but as far as places I have traveled, the food is pretty close to the same from my observation. This immediately impacts my need for variety and quickly turns into a problem for me. I suspect this isn't easy for my Indian relatives to understand, but then again, as with most things- it isn't easy to tell.
So, let's talk about ethnic food a second. For those who have never traveled to Mexico, it might be easy to think that the food you get at Taco Bell is Mexican, when the reality is that most is adapted from Mexican items, for an American taste bud. Same with Chinese, while I haven't been to China, I can suspect General Tso's and Orange Chicken aren't regularly eaten foods, otherwise I can imagine that would have a pretty significant impact on health and size of Chinese people. Well, Indian food is somewhat similar in that the things I had experienced early on from restaurants or made as special meals, turns out they aren't typically eaten on a regular basis. Roy explains that his family had chicken once a week when he was growing up- this still is mind boggling to me when I think about the volume of meat consumed here not just weekly, but daily. The issue this has caused for me is that the foods I have a taste for are chicken based, rich, and aren't widely served in India which almost always leads to disappointment in whatever I am served there or as my MIL is here living.
I don't necessarily see this as anyone's fault, but a product of the circumstances we operate under. Last night I came home from a meeting to find potato curry and roti (pan cooked dry bread) served. Needless to say, I pretty much went to bed hungry and while that isn't a tragedy by any stretch of the imagination, it does bring out some level of sadness that somehow my food consumption is not my choice. It evokes those same feelings I get in India when served some vegetable curry and rice that everyone seems all jacked up about and all I can think about is how I can turn it into a sandwich or toss it off the balcony without someone noticing. It's a hard dynamic to explain and maybe until experienced it can't be fully understood. I live an incredibly blessed and privileged life, so at times this topic makes me feel spoiled or ungrateful that I'm even remotely concerned about having to compromise on food here and there. Maybe it is, and maybe it isn't- who knows. The reality is it's a challenge for me and I don't see that changing any time soon.
It's one of these things that is so ingrained in your life you don't stop to think much about it until it changes. Throughout the years we have certainly undergone several changes and evolutions regarding a lot of topics, but food has not yet really become something that is 'settled'. It's difficult for most people I know to fully understand this impact, and maybe it is a human nature thing to make some level of assumption that everyone pretty much eats the same thing. Not having much exposure to other cultures, I never gave much thought to what other people ate but likely assumed it was pretty much the same stuff.
Turns out that is totally incorrect. I mean, there are so many possible foods that can be eaten, but the way they are assembled and flavored varies widely and what I have also learned is food is deeply rooted in culture, so when faced with regular changes it doesn't always feel comfortable.
I've probably incorrectly assumed that my husband didn't mind eating American food as much as we do, for all these years we have been together. I've remarked about this before, as somewhat of a misleading 'talent' he has of making things look so easy and invisible that I forget they may exist. I don't mean to be insensitive to his feelings, but I'm kinda a 'no news is good news person' and therefore, if he doesn't complain then everything must be ok. So, reality is that over the last 10 years we have eaten minimal Indian food on a regular basis. But, to be fair, we don't exactly eat 'American' food constantly either. Another realization I have had about food is that here we have the luxury of a HUGE variety of food types, tastes, textures, and volume. You virtually never need to eat the same thing more than once ever 6 months if you didn't want to- maybe more!
I don't even know what 'American' food is per se, unless we are talking about the roast beef and potatoes our forefathers used to eat.
My experience with Indian items and eating style in India is that much of the food looks, tastes, and is seasoned similarly. I realize that different regions eat differently (as they do here to some level in the US), but as far as places I have traveled, the food is pretty close to the same from my observation. This immediately impacts my need for variety and quickly turns into a problem for me. I suspect this isn't easy for my Indian relatives to understand, but then again, as with most things- it isn't easy to tell.
So, let's talk about ethnic food a second. For those who have never traveled to Mexico, it might be easy to think that the food you get at Taco Bell is Mexican, when the reality is that most is adapted from Mexican items, for an American taste bud. Same with Chinese, while I haven't been to China, I can suspect General Tso's and Orange Chicken aren't regularly eaten foods, otherwise I can imagine that would have a pretty significant impact on health and size of Chinese people. Well, Indian food is somewhat similar in that the things I had experienced early on from restaurants or made as special meals, turns out they aren't typically eaten on a regular basis. Roy explains that his family had chicken once a week when he was growing up- this still is mind boggling to me when I think about the volume of meat consumed here not just weekly, but daily. The issue this has caused for me is that the foods I have a taste for are chicken based, rich, and aren't widely served in India which almost always leads to disappointment in whatever I am served there or as my MIL is here living.
I don't necessarily see this as anyone's fault, but a product of the circumstances we operate under. Last night I came home from a meeting to find potato curry and roti (pan cooked dry bread) served. Needless to say, I pretty much went to bed hungry and while that isn't a tragedy by any stretch of the imagination, it does bring out some level of sadness that somehow my food consumption is not my choice. It evokes those same feelings I get in India when served some vegetable curry and rice that everyone seems all jacked up about and all I can think about is how I can turn it into a sandwich or toss it off the balcony without someone noticing. It's a hard dynamic to explain and maybe until experienced it can't be fully understood. I live an incredibly blessed and privileged life, so at times this topic makes me feel spoiled or ungrateful that I'm even remotely concerned about having to compromise on food here and there. Maybe it is, and maybe it isn't- who knows. The reality is it's a challenge for me and I don't see that changing any time soon.
