What exactly is a Lodge?

We purposely flew into India a few days before any wedding activities would happen, so we could have a little R&R buffer before the relative overload and all the festivities begin.  We also chose to stay at a Hilton on the other side of town from where relatives live, so we could be assured a bit of distance from any obligatory visits or task assignments related to the wedding.  

Having never been in Varanasi, I didn't really have a frame of reference for how similar or different it would be from Bangalore.  It didn't feel overly different, with the common street conditions, population, and traffic situation, but the weather this time of year was certainly glorious.  Mid 50-60 degrees, light sun and wind.  I loved it.  In fact, in the morning and evening, it was downright chilly, which isn't something I  minded at all.

We stayed at the Hilton Doubletree in Varanasi for the first 3 nights.  The hotel grandly sits among the 'normal' city streets and garbage piles, but once you pull past the gates, it does appear as if you have left the country.  Hotels like this in India are generally well run and clean, but typically have the Indian quirks I have mentioned before such as torn carpet, inconsistent amenities in each room (we had a hair dryer, the other room did not), and strange functionality (TVs that only work certain times of day, you have to call the front desk for hot water, etc).  Our stay here was rather quiet, and we just shopped and relaxed, but shortly, it was time for us to move over to the wedding venue area.

Roy swears he told me we were staying at a 'lodge' during the wedding days, but I am certain if I had heard this word, I would have questioned more about what exactly this is.  As with most things in India, familiar names are not what they mean back home.  I pretty much knew I wasn't in for a mountain top rustic hotel overlooking ski slopes with a roaring fire; in fact, the only thing correct was the 'rustic' part.  Not so much in a charming way, but more in a basic way.  It turned out to be fine, and in fact was fun to occupy this entire place with family members, wedding rituals, and impromptu dance parties.  The lodge is basically like a guest house or boutique hotel that you can rent a room in or the entire place (as we did), including the kitchen area and banquet hall.  The 'catering' involved is hiring your own cooks and bringing in your own food for them to prepare on some type of schedule each day.  The lodge had something like 10 actual rooms (with attached bathrooms), but many of the older relatives opted to sleep on mattresses kept around the perimeter of the banquet hall.  Sleeping on the floor, and next to whomever you wind up next to, is really common here and doesn't seem to bother anyone much.  I suppose if a room with a bed were available, they would take it, but in its absence, this seems to work just fine for the overflow folks.

The Lodge

Staircase to 2nd floor

3rd floor skylight? 

Scenic terrace

Outside the lodge- I tried to tell Shivali this was her room after Roy and I went to preview. lol. I did see the hotel workers lounging back here. 😬

Bathrooms off the banquet hall area.

Where Shivali & I slept

It dud have AC and the power only went out a few times (I think we supplied a generator). I’m not sure if the tv worked as we never even attempted it.

Exploring outside. Not sure if this was someone’s house or what??

Our bathroom. Not great, but hot water!

Elder overflow.

There is a certain fun camaraderie that comes from staying like this for 4 days.  Although cramped and more rustic than I would normally prefer, it worked out just fine and added to the fun of the occasion. As normal family gatherings occur, a few of the older uncles end up taking charge of the kitchen activities and help with picking up groceries, dictating the menu, and directing the kitchen workers on making tea and snacks.   The first morning, I was asked what I wanted to eat or drink (they never seem to know or are quite sure if I will ever find food without them), and I asked if there was coffee.  One of the in-charge uncles ran out for some, as most of the folks here drink tea.  By the end of the 4 days, I was working directly with the kitchen folks, and they were experts in American-style coffee. They seemed to enjoy me showing up with my huge pink Stanley and knew exactly why I was there. In broken English/Hindi, we bonded over stories of home, food, and drinks. 

 I think I surprise people a bit by being so down to earth with anyone and everyone (India is still very 'caste' driven, and kitchen workers aren't considered very high tier).  I don't have that upbringing, nor is it in my nature to treat anyone differently, so I never do.  In fact, we had some of the most fun times with the drivers, cleaners, and hotel workers.

Saif, our personal chauffeur to Delhi- more on that later

Indian Eric, we tormented him for photos everyday to prove he resembled my cousin

The Lucky Charms guy who cleaned at the hotel.

Indian Eric again 

Apparently you have to supervise these guys when they clean, which was super awkward.

The monkey hunter at the hotel. (It’s an air gun to scare them away- monkeys are very aggressive here. He wanted me to think it was a machine gun)

So, overall, I'm here to report back that if you find yourself in India and someone mentions you should stay at a Lodge, you don't need to run in the opposite direction, although I always highly advise scoping out the facilities before committing (this is common in India- even at big hotels).  You'll probably be just fine with a bit of adjusting, some open-minded realism, and of course, my favorite trick of light-hearted, roll-with-the-punches attitude. 

Culture with no Borders

It's a strange concept to consider that somehow a small town Wisconsinite would find common ground with small town Indians.  We don't speak the same language, worship the same, eat the same, nor look the same, but time and time again it has proven true that we are all the same.

In the dozen times I have traveled here, I can hardly think of an instance where I have not been treated with lots of respect, consideration, and kindness.  Many people don't necessarily understand me or what my needs and preferences are, but they certainly get an A for effort. 

I spend a lot of time being observed from a distance.  I can't always understand what is being said, but it certainly is being said about me.  It rarely feels critical or mean, but curious and admiring, with kind smiles and open enthusiasm to try and learn more about me.   Even as I am writing this, I am seated in a big room littered with flowers, wrappers, and cups from the impromptu dance party that happened last night, which serves as an overflow room for sleeping, eating, and of course, blog writing. A couple handfuls of the elders didn't choose to join the rest of the family for the ghat tour and boat ride, but instead sip tea and chat in here.  They are sitting all around me, not speaking to me, but at times I come up as a topic.  I offered them my organic cinnamon thins, which are perfect with coffee and tea and insisted everyone try one.

  More than a few asked for seconds, so that will certainly give them something to think about and talk about long after I am gone.  It is these simple moments that I am referring to.  A moment of connection and kindness that they have shown to me so many times, now returned.

The Father of the Groom literally just walked in with a bag (you read that right) of milk and motioned to me to follow. I told him that my coffee was ok without it, but he gave a sad face, so I followed and added some in.  I'm the only coffee drinker here and they seem excited to learn how I like to take it. It is this degree of kindness that is one of the most beautiful parts of India.

Sparkle all the Way to 2am

The purpose of this trip was to attend the wedding of our cousin (Roy's youngest Aunt's only child) who they call Deep. (Everyone in India has a nickname- some easier than others)  I've known Deep since he was a teenager and was honestly I was excited to attend the wedding.

One of my favorite parts of any Hindu function is the sparkle overload clothing, and of course the pre-wedding henna.

I love henna so much that I even got a tattoo a few years ago that resembles henna. 

I've always been fascinated by the looks and dressing style of Indian people, well before I ever met Roy.  Being married and coming here so many times has given me the opportunity to embrace that and get involved in a way that not only makes me happy, but makes everyone here happy to see me involved.

Wedding prep in choosing outfits was months in the making and then once we arrived here we purchased all the necessary accessories- bangles, earrings, necklaces and bindis(the colorful decor sticker you put on your forehead)  Shopping here is so much fun with all the colorful choices, haggling, and of course the prices. (I spent $28 on 7 items)

Knowing it was going to be a late night, we took a mid-day nap, which hit the spot. Then it was on to getting ready in full makeup, hair, and of course the full sparkle.  I truly love every moment of it.

My beautiful nieces. 

My youngest sister in law.

My oldest sister in law.

I was told to be ready by 6:30 pm so we could leave the guest house and travel the 30 min to the wedding location.  The bride's family is responsible for the wedding preparations and the groom's for the reception, which will be in 2 days.   As always, I expected there to be delays and never is a specific time for the wedding to occur mentioned.  We did in fact leave the guest house around 6:30 or 7 and with the volume of groom's family members, we took numerous vehicles and headed into the crazy Varanasi traffic just to find out that nobody had the directions to the place and that we needed to go to a place down the street from the wedding venue so that we could partake in some sort of procession to the wedding venue.   I have not been part of these activities in the past, as the only weddings I have attended have been part of the brides side, so I didn’t know exactly what to expect; a common feeling for me here. 

After arriving near the wedding venue, we were met with a full band, dj truck, and people holding lighted umbrellas who walked us (dancing albeit) all the way to the venue. It was wild. 

What’s funny to me about Hindu weddings is once you arrive, most attendees only watch the wedding rituals on and off and are instead chatting or eating. It’s like a wedding and reception combined at the same time, except there is an actual reception 2 days later. 

I took the opportunity to try lots of new foods and mingle with the brides family. It was lots of fun and interesting for me to witness.

By the time the bride entered, it was almost midnight. Then only do they pose for pictures and do this exchange of floral garland. 

Isn’t she gorgeous??

By 2am, the main wedding had not even started taking place yet, so we left! LOL

And although some people stayed, most do leave at some point before it’s over. 

I was clearly told that no events happen the day after the wedding, so we get to just recoup and relax, but at 7am I was informed that the bride and groom were on their way here for some blessings I was required to attend and it was totally fine to come in pajamas. 😎

I performed by obligatory blessings, chatted with the groom, and made friends with the cooks whom I taught to make me American style coffee. 

This guy in the red knows English, which certainly helps the process along. 

We will now relax and mingle for the day, catch up with relatives and maybe do some shopping. Looking forward to the reception!