A 7th Wonder Epic Adventure

My soul has always craved adventure. I was always the one to try new things (however stupid and risky), not afraid of challenges (however crazy and insurmountable), and thrived in an environment of uncertainty.   As I have aged, this hasn't gone away; if anything, it has gotten stronger as I have gained the means to live a bigger life.

When my husband mentioned a little side trip after the wedding, without any hesitation, I jumped at the chance. The wedding events ended on the 7th and the relatives were all packing up and leaving the morning of the 8th.  We had a noon flight scheduled that would have gotten us into Delhi in a few hours and then the plan was to spend the day exploring, including a 2 hr drive to a place I have always wanted to visit: Taj Mahal, which is located in Agra.   We woke up to a flight cancellation and due to some Indian flight regulation changes, this was a common problem at the moment.  Roy did find another flight for us, but on the way to the airport, it too was rescheduled to the following day, which would have not only changed our plans, but also resulted in us missing our international flight home.

In that moment, we took advantage of the next best available option, which was to drive the almost 12 hrs from Varanasi to Delhi.

A friend of the family who drives them places around Varanasi was the one who was taking us to the airport, so when he got the request to continue onto Delhi as a hired driver, he seemed happy to accept, but likely got a lot more than he bargained for!   Shivali and I had a good time with him all week, as we misunderstood how this 'driver' kept showing up at the wedding events. Turns out he was a family friend who also served as a driver, who spoke zero English, yet seemed to enjoy the curiosity of Shivali and I laughing at him every time he showed up at an event.

I've had a few opportunities to drive extended distances across India, and as you can imagine, it does not disappoint. Lots of interesting sites and the people watching is world-class. It’s a mix of open fields (with the occasional field pooper) and small villages packed with the usual small shops and tons of people out walking. 

Before long, we were all hungry and decided to pull off for some lunch. Roy determined this little roadside restaurant seemed like a good one, so we ventured out into the crowded streets. As usual, we draw a fair amount of attention from the curious onlookers, many of which have likely never saw a Caucasian person in their life. I walk confidently through the crowds trying not to make much eye contact, as my Midwest Wisconsin norm of smiling at strangers is easily misinterpreted here.  

The cafe itself was clean and nice. I asked about a bathroom, only to discover it was located under the building in a decrepit walkway that most would assume you’d get murdered in, and sadly only one Indian style toilet. But we do what we have to do!   Also, I’m here to tell you that the food was OUTSTANDING! I didn’t even take any photos because it was so good- we just scarfed it down. Never judge a book by its cover in India! 

As we ventured on our journey packed in the backseat of this small car, periodically stopping for nature’s call and sleeping with my head in my lap, it seemed like not much fun at times, but then again there were many moments of laughter.

We stopped at this highly questionable roadside gas station in the middle of the night and regardless of conditions, it was pretty mission critical to use their bathroom. It wasn’t horrible, but the people standing around made it feel a bit unsafe for us. When we exited the bathroom, I didn’t immediately see the car and driver and panicked for a split second about what it would be like to be left there, not knowing where we were, having no money, and not speaking the language. 😵‍💫

Luckily, Roy and the driver had just pulled away from the gas pumps and were over by the road. Shivali and I had a good time ‘yelling’ at him through vibrant hand motions: NEXT TIME-YOU-PARK-NEAR-THE BATHROOM. 🤣🤣🤣

The original plan involved driving to Delhi and spending the night in the hotel I had pre-booked, but driving through Agra to get to Delhi made zero sense considering it was already near midnight when we got near Agra. I decided it was better to take it up with the charge card than drive the extra hours and told Roy to just book something nice for the night. The Raddison in Agra turned out to be the most perfect choice, with the most comfortable bed I’ve slept in outside my own, and a lovely breakfast. 

Roy surprised me with the most incredible view!  What????!!!!

I knew this day was about to be EPIC, so dressing for the photos was absolutely critical. I saved this lovely kurti I had purchased in Chicago and fell in love with for just such an occasion. 

I can only describe my time visiting the Taj Mahal as magical. Seeing it in person is so much different than photos. It is hard to believe it was built in the 1600’s! It is more majestic and grand than you can ever imagine and of course the pictures we captured were amazing!

As you may or may not know, the Taj Mahal was built by Shah Jahan in 1632 as a mausoleum to his wife who died in childbirth. They are buried underneath it, which is why they don’t allow photos inside, although I managed to sneak a few. 

The view of Yumana River and surrounding buildings are equally magnificent and the breeze was heavenly, although it was a nice cool day that made the visit even more wonderful. 

I could have sat here all day and enjoyed the view, but we planned another unexpected stop I’ll tell you about next post. Just a few more fun and scenic photos from our visit: 

I get a lot of random requests to pose with strangers, which will never not strike me as odd.

When she is done with photos.

I didn’t actually see a monkey here, which is unusual because they are always at these places.

The marble work here was incredible. This one looked like a face to me!

The cows leading the way out. 

Indian survival mode activated

It's an interesting phenomenon that happens to me when I travel to India.  I don't know if it is because I am out of my element, or have traveled there enough times to know that some items aren't super easy to come by, but I become a hoarder of certain things whenever I travel to India.

It is probably linked to my need to adapt and normalize quickly to any situation. Call it a middle-child syndrome or just the trait of a psycho, but I always have this need to take any situation and normalize it down to my level asap.  When traveling, the first thing I like to do is unpack and get things in their 'normal' spot- chargers by the bed, toiletries by the sink, my favorite pillow on the bed.  It doesn't matter where I am; before I get comfortable, this is the first thing I do.  Next thing is to survey the landscape and figure out where to find things I need, or what the overall lay of the land is.  I like to know where the exits and entrances are, and I love to explore where all the facilities are.  This is pretty much anytime I travel.

Traveling to India is a bit different for me.  I know things like water are generally a problem, and I need to always be searching for bottled water.  Not that it isn't available at shops, but it just isn't always convenient or I have to ask someone to get it, which is something I hate.  On this trip to India, we spent a few days in a Hilton on the other side of town prior to joining the wedding party location with family and friends.  Throughout that stay, there was a housekeeping cart parked down the hall that had bottled water, towels, and soap on it. Every time I walked past, I would grab a handful of water bottles.  Like a squirrel preparing for winter, I knew the time would come when it wouldn't be readily available, so I stash it away instinctively.  There is something satisfying, almost competitive, to me about finding things that I need in this manner. It becomes something like a challenge and a game to see how much I can get.

Before leaving for the guest house, one thing I know about India is that most people travel with their own towel.  'Guest towels' is not a thing when staying at someone else's house, not as far as I have ever been accustomed to, nor are toiletries or other basic necessities.   I wasn't sure of the exact situation at the guest house with it not being a house or a hotel, so I decided I'd better figure out a towel plan pretty quickly.  This occurred to me while we were traveling back to the hotel the day before we left, and I decided that the housekeeping cart would be a perfect victim for a few towels to make their way into my stash.  To my surprise, the cart that was there the first 3 days was now gone.   I decided to take a trip around the hotel to find out what else was available.  First stop: the gym.  Surely they would have towels.  Nope, 1 washcloth: usable, but not what I was in search of.  3 small bottles of water, got it.  I went out by the pool area, which, although open, wouldn't have anyone using it because of the cold-ish weather.  I checked the locker room and found a few dirty towels- not ideal, but a last resort.  Finally- JACKPOT! A giant stack of striped beach towels, just lying in piles next to the lounge chairs.  Perfect for what would surely be a necessary need at the guest house shower.  These ended up working great, and when leaving for our trip back home, I happily regifted them to a few aunts who were thrilled to now be the proud owners of 'Hilton towels'. 

My Indian scavenger hunt tactic is something I have deployed numerous times, and it has become somewhat of a survival mechanism for me in terms of being comfortable and being able to self-obtain things I need.  Being a highly independent person in India isn't typically possible for me, being without transportation, funds, and language skills, so this method ends up being pretty lucrative, as far as a survival currency goes.  

Hilton coffee or tea, anyone?

Was there really a Wedding?

There's an old saying:  If a tree falls in the middle of the woods and nobody is there to see it, does it make a noise?   The same is true about a wedding that happens in the middle of the night, right?  If nobody is there to witness it, did it really happen?   Strange question, right?  Yet I find myself asking it.

The wedding morning started as many in India do, guests waking up randomly at different times and being served tea by the ever-eager uncles in charge of the food.  I'm not sure if this is an official role or just something they like to do, but it ends up working pretty well, as the kitchen staff is really just there to prepare the food and not much else.

I was aware from prior weddings that the morning or day before a ceremony is held where a turmeric paste is smeared on the body of the person getting married, a bunch of rituals and things are done to the person, primarily by married family ladies, and then that same turmeric paste is scraped off and brought to the other person's house and the same is done to them.  Although I'm not big on rituals, I've always thought this one was quite romantic.

They even put the turmeric on each other, and especially love to see it on me!

For the ceremony, it is typical for everyone to wear something yellow.  My husband neglected to inform me of this in the past, so I made sure I had something prepared this time, and as you can see, the dress code is pretty strictly followed.  I stand out enough, no need to invite more by wearing black or something in my usual wardrobe.   

The ceremony goes pretty quick, I basically stand there just doing whatever they tell me, not really knowing why or what. (typical)  

I was then asked to join a group of elders to go over to the bride's house and deliver the turmeric and visit.  I hadn't met anyone from their side yet, so this sounded like a fun idea.  We all piled in a few different cars, and before long, Indian Eric had us over there.  

It initially felt kinda like a mob visit must feel; lots of people silently greeting us and being escorted into a backroom where we all sit around and quietly be served snacks and drinks.  Their family elders kept coming in and out and serving different types of snacks and drinks.  I try everything as I know it is rude not to, and honestly, I'm just having a good time and enjoying the moment, so it didn't feel like much of an issue.

Before long, a few of the ladies are brought to the back of the house where the bride is.  She is still getting ready at this point, and I can imagine she is very nervous to meet all these family members, let alone have them in her room while she is getting ready.  Everywhere we go, the bride's family members are standing around observing us. I can only imagine what they were thinking of me!  They were very sweet and polite, and as soon as we returned to the original room, more snacks and drinks appeared.  The bride went down to this decorated small room, where I think they were going to do the rituals.  She seemed very sweet and down-to-earth to me, so I instantly had a good feeling about how this was going to go.   On the way out, the bride's grandmother handed each person an envelope full of cash.  I had no idea this was going to happen or I surely would have been more excited to go!  Snacks AND cash, what more could you want!

As soon as we got back to the guest house, it was time to start getting ready for the wedding.  There was a flurry of activity as all the ladies (specifically) put on elaborate outfits and accessories, many of whom I assisted with their hair and use of my makeup.  We were told to be ready by 6:30pm, but as per normal, nothing here happens timely and I knew we likely wouldn't go anywhere for hours after that.

After all the typical photo shoots, the groom appeared and was promptly put into a decorated car.  

Indian Eric the driver

I was told that there was a 'bus' waiting for us outside, but we opted for a trip with Indian Eric.  We got a few blocks down only to discover nobody knew where we were going.  After some calls and discussion with those still at the guest house, I kept hearing that we were in fact not going to the wedding venue, but a place nearby for some type of procession.  I should know by now that nothing here just happens; it is always about a show and a grand reveal, and this next activity did NOT disappoint.

We finally arrived at the designated location to find loud music, snacks, tea, and a full band.  The groom in the decorated car was also sitting here patiently waiting.  We then proceeded to follow this band, truck blaring loud music, and these people holding lighted umbrellas all the way to the wedding venue while family members danced down the street.  It was WILD.

After several hours of pre-wedding festivity, we arrived at the wedding venue, and as the groom started some rituals outside, we were escorted inside to find food and drink stations everywhere.  The hotel was very nice, and the food was excellent.  The groom was then put up on a stage in this fancy chair, where he basically just sits and is photographed for what feels like hours before the bride comes in and joins him.  I thought at this point the wedding would start, but they just sat there well past 2am, when I was told many of us were taking the bus back home!

I learned later on that the wedding rituals did take place on the roof (in the cold!) and didn't conclude until 4 or 5am, and the remaining relatives returned to the guest house.  I don't think the bride and groom ever sleep, as 'wedding night' activities don't happen until much later on in the week.

I have since seen a few pictures of these rooftop rituals happening, so I guess that the 'wedding' itself did in fact happen, but timing here will never be something I understand or will make sense to me.  As with most things, nobody seems particularly bothered, so I've tried to follow this same logic as well.   I was told the next day would be full R&R, but was woken up by Roy at 7am, being told the bride and groom were coming there, and I needed to be present for some rituals.  I reluctantly got up, found the cooks to make a big cup of coffee, and carried out my sister-in-law duties.  

Next up: Shopping & Starbucks!