There's an old saying: If a tree falls in the middle of the woods and nobody is there to see it, does it make a noise? The same is true about a wedding that happens in the middle of the night, right? If nobody is there to witness it, did it really happen? Strange question, right? Yet I find myself asking it.
The wedding morning started as many in India do, guests waking up randomly at different times and being served tea by the ever-eager uncles in charge of the food. I'm not sure if this is an official role or just something they like to do, but it ends up working pretty well, as the kitchen staff is really just there to prepare the food and not much else.
I was aware from prior weddings that the morning or day before a ceremony is held where a turmeric paste is smeared on the body of the person getting married, a bunch of rituals and things are done to the person, primarily by married family ladies, and then that same turmeric paste is scraped off and brought to the other person's house and the same is done to them. Although I'm not big on rituals, I've always thought this one was quite romantic.
They even put the turmeric on each other, and especially love to see it on me!
For the ceremony, it is typical for everyone to wear something yellow. My husband neglected to inform me of this in the past, so I made sure I had something prepared this time, and as you can see, the dress code is pretty strictly followed. I stand out enough, no need to invite more by wearing black or something in my usual wardrobe.
The ceremony goes pretty quick, I basically stand there just doing whatever they tell me, not really knowing why or what. (typical)
I was then asked to join a group of elders to go over to the bride's house and deliver the turmeric and visit. I hadn't met anyone from their side yet, so this sounded like a fun idea. We all piled in a few different cars, and before long, Indian Eric had us over there.
It initially felt kinda like a mob visit must feel; lots of people silently greeting us and being escorted into a backroom where we all sit around and quietly be served snacks and drinks. Their family elders kept coming in and out and serving different types of snacks and drinks. I try everything as I know it is rude not to, and honestly, I'm just having a good time and enjoying the moment, so it didn't feel like much of an issue.
Before long, a few of the ladies are brought to the back of the house where the bride is. She is still getting ready at this point, and I can imagine she is very nervous to meet all these family members, let alone have them in her room while she is getting ready. Everywhere we go, the bride's family members are standing around observing us. I can only imagine what they were thinking of me! They were very sweet and polite, and as soon as we returned to the original room, more snacks and drinks appeared. The bride went down to this decorated small room, where I think they were going to do the rituals. She seemed very sweet and down-to-earth to me, so I instantly had a good feeling about how this was going to go. On the way out, the bride's grandmother handed each person an envelope full of cash. I had no idea this was going to happen or I surely would have been more excited to go! Snacks AND cash, what more could you want!
As soon as we got back to the guest house, it was time to start getting ready for the wedding. There was a flurry of activity as all the ladies (specifically) put on elaborate outfits and accessories, many of whom I assisted with their hair and use of my makeup. We were told to be ready by 6:30pm, but as per normal, nothing here happens timely and I knew we likely wouldn't go anywhere for hours after that.
After all the typical photo shoots, the groom appeared and was promptly put into a decorated car.
Indian Eric the driver
I was told that there was a 'bus' waiting for us outside, but we opted for a trip with Indian Eric. We got a few blocks down only to discover nobody knew where we were going. After some calls and discussion with those still at the guest house, I kept hearing that we were in fact not going to the wedding venue, but a place nearby for some type of procession. I should know by now that nothing here just happens; it is always about a show and a grand reveal, and this next activity did NOT disappoint.
We finally arrived at the designated location to find loud music, snacks, tea, and a full band. The groom in the decorated car was also sitting here patiently waiting. We then proceeded to follow this band, truck blaring loud music, and these people holding lighted umbrellas all the way to the wedding venue while family members danced down the street. It was WILD.
After several hours of pre-wedding festivity, we arrived at the wedding venue, and as the groom started some rituals outside, we were escorted inside to find food and drink stations everywhere. The hotel was very nice, and the food was excellent. The groom was then put up on a stage in this fancy chair, where he basically just sits and is photographed for what feels like hours before the bride comes in and joins him. I thought at this point the wedding would start, but they just sat there well past 2am, when I was told many of us were taking the bus back home!
I learned later on that the wedding rituals did take place on the roof (in the cold!) and didn't conclude until 4 or 5am, and the remaining relatives returned to the guest house. I don't think the bride and groom ever sleep, as 'wedding night' activities don't happen until much later on in the week.
I have since seen a few pictures of these rooftop rituals happening, so I guess that the 'wedding' itself did in fact happen, but timing here will never be something I understand or will make sense to me. As with most things, nobody seems particularly bothered, so I've tried to follow this same logic as well. I was told the next day would be full R&R, but was woken up by Roy at 7am, being told the bride and groom were coming there, and I needed to be present for some rituals. I reluctantly got up, found the cooks to make a big cup of coffee, and carried out my sister-in-law duties.
Next up: Shopping & Starbucks!
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