It's been 2 years since we last visited, and for me, it has been years of many physical and mental changes. Since going on sabbatical from my career and focusing on my health, resulting in losing more than 90 lbs, I've reached a point in my life where I am a much different person than I have been in the past. More patient, less tolerant, and perhaps more easy-going - although less willing to go along with any kind of nonsense.
Having visited India more than a dozen times, I'm well aware of the problems a foreigner faces with noise, cleanliness, food choices, and population. As someone who was overweight most of their life, I'm also well aware of the fact that India isn't very accommodating to weight issues. It's not that there aren't overweight people here, but there is certainly less, and the society isn't built around understanding this challenge. Stores don't typically have larger sizes, and Indian people in general are much shorter, smaller, and more fine, which makes a larger-sized white lady stand out even more.
While I didn't lose weight for India, it has proven to be a very nice bonus traveling here in my smaller body and seeing how relatives and just people in general react differently. I easily purchased 'normal' sized clothing from the store yesterday and just overall feel more comfortable, less hot and sweaty, and like I fit in just a little bit better.
The 16 hr plane ride overseas was definitely easier, being able to fit in the seat comfortably and not feel hot and overwhelmed the whole time. I was not overly worried about the food, as food isn't a much of a big deal for me these days. I can bring along some protein bars and be pretty happy for long stretches.
What is more notable than the physical changes, is the mental ones. I have never made any secret of the fact that I have a love/hate relationship with India and this time is no different, however, I feel more peaceful about it and have been able to sit back and relax more without the constant worry of what is coming and how it will be. I know things are not my brand of 'normal', but somehow I am ok with most of that. I have embraced the odd and unusual and have found a place of contentment in knowing that this is my husband's childhood home and the source of much enjoyment and love for him. I also like to see my daughter exposed to the culture so she doesn't just think she is strictly American.
Yesterday we got up at 4am and visited the famous Varanasi Ghats. These are stairs leading down the Ganges, which Hindus consider the most holy river.
There are bathers and worshippers everywhere, as well as places where they burn bodies (you read that right!) and do all sorts of other activities. 
We watched an early morning ritual and then took a boat ride past the 84 different ghats along the river.
It was very interesting to see all the activity and wildlife, as well as the world class people watching. I can easily say that I enjoyed myself in spite of being very cold (I know, crazy!) and being unsure of what was going to happen. Years ago I would have been terrified of the boat, not knowing how sea-worthy it is, but I just hopped on this time, taking the hand of guy who resembled Captain Jack Sparrow who turns out he drives the boat- ironic.
I even asked to join in the tea drinking, being poured from a super hot pot brought around the beaches by guys who sell it all day to make money. God only knows how it was made or if it is safe, but again, I'm just not that concerned about it at this point. I hate tea, but it was quite good on a cold morning.
Later in the day we visited a few shops and then went to the house of the Aunt whose son is getting married in the next few days. In classic Indian form, the house is set far back down allies and has lots of strange and interesting details for me to observe and chuckle at, including a monkey family!
The people are all very nice and as always, meeting our relatives after a long time is somehow fun. Shivali found a cousin that she hadn't met before that is just 1 year younger, although she looks about 8.
The relatives are all very interested in my weight loss and Shivali's height, so that keeps everyone talking for days.
We are currently staying at a Doubletree Hilton, but as the wedding approaches, we will move over to another hotel near the wedding venue.
I learned yesterday it isn't a hotel exactly, but something they call a 'lodge'. If you are like me, you envision a rustic cabin with a roaring fire in the mountains of Colorado somewhere, but turns out it is like a hotel without any of the amenities of a standard hotel. I'm not quite sure what that all entails, but as normal, I am along for the ride and just hoarded extra water bottles, towels, and toilet paper from where we are now. All the relatives will be staying in that place, but I have been assured that Shivali and I will be put in a room together and be left alone as much as needed, where all the other relatives will just file in and sleep wherever it works. I'm likely never understand that cultural norm, but thats ok,I don't need to.
I find myself excited for the wedding prep, we purchased some additional sparkly outfits for low costs, and tonight we will have that henna done on our hands, which is my personal favorite. Don't get me wrong, as I write this I am staring at a box of Cheez-Its Extra Toasty crackers, and wondering how uncomfortable the bed at the new place will be, but still excited to see my Sister in Laws, nieces, and other relatives coming in today.
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