Having spent my entire life in small town USA has granted me certain privileges. The privilege of forgetting to lock my door, and not being overly concerned about a break-in. The privilege of regularly running into people I went to high school or even grade school with and being able to easily recognize each other and being open enough to stop and chat. The privilege of living in a clean city, with genuinely friendly people where I have room to run, things I want and need are affordable, and I have access to almost anything I could ever dream of. However, living in a small town means minimal cultural diversity and what is here stands out like a turd in a punch bowl.
I can't ever remember a time when I felt racist, although I do remember being somewhat fascinated by the look and volume of black people in Milwaukee during the first couple trips we took there when I was a kid. I look back and laugh at that thought now, how I used to try and stare without being noticed but more than likely looked like a tourist in my own state.
There were the pockets of Asian children in my high school- mainly Hmong, more than likely refugees. To be honest, I never took the time to find out where they were from or why they were here. I look at that now as an opportunity lost. The chance to get to know someone else from somewhere far away who might just teach you something you haven't thought of before.
Over the last 6 years as I have learned about India and it's millions of traditions, languages, and cultural nuances I feel I have been given an opportunity to dig deeper into life. Not just life as I know it, but life as another group of people on the other side of our same planet know it. I'm not going to lie, it hasn't been easy and there are plenty of things I have learned about that I don't like but at least I feel like I have been given a chance to choose. To choose to either stick with what I know to be correct or take another path based on some other exposure that feels more comfortable to me.
During this process, there has been plenty of time that friends and relatives have either given me the feeling or even accused me of seeming 'brainwashed'. This hurts in a spot that I will never be able to articulate. I am not a naive 12 year old girl- I've lived 40 years on this planet and am an educated, successful person who lives a fairly straight-laced life. I'm not and have never been addicted to anything (ok, maybe cigarettes when I was 18 and probably mint brownies now) but, I'm not a big drinker and most certainly never a drug addict. So, just because I have begun to challenge some of the 'norms' I was raised with, why does that make me brain-washed? ESPECIALLY when attempting to implement a better quality of life (obviously I am not talking about someone who would try to rationalize any type of bad, abusive, or neglectful behavior)
I'm not going to dwell on that, reason being is I do truly feel fortunate to have been exposed to something totally new and different. Not everyone is so fortunate, so how can I expect them to understand? I say this with the most utmost of seriousness and not to sound condescending, because a person can only process and understand what they are exposed to and not many go out in search for more. It reminds me of a story I read in college- Plato's Allegory of the Cave. People believe what they are exposed to and have a hard time accepting anything else. Read on your own, if you are so inclined: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allegory_of_the_Cave
I want to spend some time going into detail on some subjects that I feel passionate about through being exposed to a different way of handling it. Topics like: Greed, Parenting, Selflessness, and Commitment.
Thinking about these subjects differently is a process, it's like putting a little rock in the way of a heavy door. Just enough to hear or see a little crack of what's going on in the other room. Enough to be intrigued, enough to be lured, enough to wonder if they might be having more fun in there and you might want to join.
I can't ever remember a time when I felt racist, although I do remember being somewhat fascinated by the look and volume of black people in Milwaukee during the first couple trips we took there when I was a kid. I look back and laugh at that thought now, how I used to try and stare without being noticed but more than likely looked like a tourist in my own state.
There were the pockets of Asian children in my high school- mainly Hmong, more than likely refugees. To be honest, I never took the time to find out where they were from or why they were here. I look at that now as an opportunity lost. The chance to get to know someone else from somewhere far away who might just teach you something you haven't thought of before.
Over the last 6 years as I have learned about India and it's millions of traditions, languages, and cultural nuances I feel I have been given an opportunity to dig deeper into life. Not just life as I know it, but life as another group of people on the other side of our same planet know it. I'm not going to lie, it hasn't been easy and there are plenty of things I have learned about that I don't like but at least I feel like I have been given a chance to choose. To choose to either stick with what I know to be correct or take another path based on some other exposure that feels more comfortable to me.
During this process, there has been plenty of time that friends and relatives have either given me the feeling or even accused me of seeming 'brainwashed'. This hurts in a spot that I will never be able to articulate. I am not a naive 12 year old girl- I've lived 40 years on this planet and am an educated, successful person who lives a fairly straight-laced life. I'm not and have never been addicted to anything (ok, maybe cigarettes when I was 18 and probably mint brownies now) but, I'm not a big drinker and most certainly never a drug addict. So, just because I have begun to challenge some of the 'norms' I was raised with, why does that make me brain-washed? ESPECIALLY when attempting to implement a better quality of life (obviously I am not talking about someone who would try to rationalize any type of bad, abusive, or neglectful behavior)
I'm not going to dwell on that, reason being is I do truly feel fortunate to have been exposed to something totally new and different. Not everyone is so fortunate, so how can I expect them to understand? I say this with the most utmost of seriousness and not to sound condescending, because a person can only process and understand what they are exposed to and not many go out in search for more. It reminds me of a story I read in college- Plato's Allegory of the Cave. People believe what they are exposed to and have a hard time accepting anything else. Read on your own, if you are so inclined: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allegory_of_the_Cave
I want to spend some time going into detail on some subjects that I feel passionate about through being exposed to a different way of handling it. Topics like: Greed, Parenting, Selflessness, and Commitment.
Thinking about these subjects differently is a process, it's like putting a little rock in the way of a heavy door. Just enough to hear or see a little crack of what's going on in the other room. Enough to be intrigued, enough to be lured, enough to wonder if they might be having more fun in there and you might want to join.
Hello Bollywood Blonde,
ReplyDeleteI wish you good luck with your dilemma. I understand the background/upbringing
you come from, and am glad that you are assimilating some of the cultural
background of the man you married.
I've been reading your blog for a while now, and If you allow me, I'd like to
complain about a couple things; mainly driven by my own narrow minded cultural
outlook. Please feel free to reject publishing this comment:
1) Name of the Blog - Bollywood Blonde : Looks like you married a man from the
Eastern part of India ( West Bengal/Orissa) ? The name of the blog is itself an
insult to the rich cultural heritage of that part of India. They themselves
have a thriving Movie industry, and a rich history of
writers/poets/philosophers/Movie directors from that region. India also has a
vibrant Movie producing community in the Southern parts, in fact the movie insutry in the state of Tamil Nadu is equally prodigious as Bollywood.
2) In one of your posts ,
http://bollywood-blonde.blogspot.in/2011/10/only-in-india.html, you put up a
photograph, and labelled it 'Man wearing Turban and Skirt'. Well, you do have a
sense of humor, so I don't know if it was meant as a joke or you were serious
about it, but you have to know : The man was in the pic was a Manual laborer,
wearing a wrap around head gear and a 'Lungi'/'Longyi', which is a typical
non-formal attire worn by people in the states of West Bengal, Orissa, Tamil
Nadu, etc, as well as men from Bangladesh & Burma. I found that insulting, a
Turban is worn due to religious obligation. Headgear is worn as either
protection while doing manual labor, or a formal 'Hat Wearing' while you are
out in society. How you wear the headgear, material used and pattern used is
used to show tribal affiliation.Not like the 'Sikhs' who have to wear it round
the clock due to their religion.
Sorry for the long post, NO disrespect intended.
Anyway, good luck to your family !
Regards
Ramesh
Thanks Ramesh for the feedback, and I wouldn't dream of rejecting your comment. (the only time I would ever do this is in the case of any mean or inappropriate comments.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your comment on the blog title. I searched for a long time for something fun, catchy, and appropriate and finally landed on Bollywood Blonde. I am aware of the various forms of cinema produced in India, and merely chose Bollywood as the most common type and I felt people here would better relate to the name. Unfortunately here people aren't super familiar with Indian movies, so sticking close to 'Hollywood' was something I felt they could relate to.
As for my comment about the guy in the skirt and the turban, this was said in a very light spirited way. I do understand that the lungi or dhoti is NOT a skirt and this was simply a way for my friends and family back home to relate and better understand what he was wearing. Also, not understanding the intricacies of Indian headwear, most people here use the word 'turban' very loosely related to anything in this category.
Forgive me, the last thing I want to do is offend anyone, but keep in mind this blog is about my perspective as a foreigner. Stay tuned for my postings about how India has turned the mirror on me as far as confronting the American culture, but the same is true for Indian individuals to hear a global impression of all things common to you. : )