There is plenty I enjoy about India, in spite of the sarcastic things I have written about my stays here. The people are some of the most kind and welcoming. Relatives and friends alike treat me with a lot of respect and consideration. Always concerned for my well being and comfort. Sit here, take this water, have you eaten. These are all regular questions I get. I’ve also been given lavish gifts and just showered with love and affection, in spite of me not being able to communicate much with any of them. This is a very heartwarming feature of visiting India and definitely one of the things I enjoy the most.
I’ve complained in the past about the heat, the overcrowding, the food, and the lack of personal space. These are all real challenges of visiting India and essentially living as an Indian by staying in the same house, using all the same facilities, eating the same, traveling around the same. As opposed to most foreigners who visit India, I don’t stay in 5 star hotels sipping bottled water and dining on fries and milkshakes. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve frequented many a McDonalds and KFCs looking for a little bit of ‘normal’, but overall this isn’t the everyday standard.
This time around, living logistics and wedding location necessitated a hotel stay for all, as opposed to all staying with my MIL and SILs. I was happy to learn about this, but also reserving judgement knowing Indian standards vary a lot from Western standards. If you aren’t careful you can end up in a hotel scarier than any horror movie. Luckily I’ve been pleasantly surprised by both the hotels we’ve stayed at here near my MILs place and especially the hotel where the wedding took place. Roy took the risk of looking rude by booking us a room at the hotel there, where all the other relatives stayed at a less costly option down the street.
Keep in mind before you pass judgement, that wedding customs here dictate you covering the costs for all travel, food, and lodging for all relatives and the entire groom’s wedding guest list! So, although more convenient for all to stay right where we were, it just was more costly than we apparently cared to pay. It didn’t end up being much of a big deal for us to stay elsewhere, and honestly I’ve learned that being comfortable in this completely foreign world isn’t just a luxury, but a necessity for me to function. The jet lag and overall tiredness takes such a huge toll, that without a few comforts of home I simply can’t survive. I’m not myself in anyway and it just makes for a miserable trip.
Air conditioning here isn’t overly common, which for most of my cold weather friends is impossible to believe- especially in a hot climate. Don’t underestimate how horrible you feel when you sit in your own sweat all day and the power keeps going off and even the fan isn’t available. For me, this is just miserable and makes me hongry.(hot and angry) So, being in a place that has AC makes me feel 1000x better.
Food is my next big problem. Most people eat a lot of the same type of food here for each meal- at least from my perception. They feel like every meal must include rice to be considered a meal, I simply can’t stomach it more than a few days in a row. Bangalore has lots of US type restaurants that have very similar food to what I’m used to. Visiting these places, helps me feel human again. Trying to ‘fit in’ too much just makes me miserable.
Here in India, families and even friends function so close together sharing food, clothes, living quarters, even the same bed. People genuinely enjoy being together in close proximity all the time. Growing up, my husband shared a 1 bedroom house with his mom and dad and 2 sisters. All 3 of them shared a small bed until into their teenager years. There is no such thing as separate space of your own. Being raised like this, along with your extended family so close forms deep bonds and therefore sharing space and everything else isn’t much of a problem, if not a pleasure. Even here for the wedding, booking hotel rooms isn’t as fussy as having 1 room per couple or separate rooms for individuals, they just all bunk together 3 aunts per room or a husband and wife and a spare uncle. For me, this really doesn’t work. I like having my own space in a separate private area that isn’t invaded by others constantly. I don’t know if this is considered selfish or not, but to me it is necessity. Same as the food and AC, it just makes my life way more bearable here!
A few other things that help include shopping- you’d be surprised to know how many modern malls Bangalore has, even high end stores- more in this later. Also, having our own transportation helps a lot. Roy rented a car this time and although the traffic is horrible, it is so nice to be able to come and go as you please.
These are the basic survival tactics I have learned along the way, and overall I have to say this trip was more comfortable and enjoyable due to these simple items!
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