An Indian Special

One of my favorite Indian items is small and fiesty, super smart and witty, a constant challenge and an incredible force for the future.  

What's interesting about raising a multi- ethnic child in a small community is that sometimes people don't believe I'm her mom. I've been asked if she is adopted and comments have been made about where she got her 'lovely tan'.  I've always believed that we have created a very unique and special human being who has endless possibilities for the future.  

Just wanted to share this lovely lady with you:

Shivali

Lessons from India

As the trip here starts to wind down, I like to spend time quietly contemplating my time here and things I've learned.

Luckily there is tons of time for this because of the language barriers and overall comfort with speaking their native language I am frequently left out of conversation.  I mention this a lot, because at times this is overwhelmingly sad. It's been a challenge for me to learn a new language- both mentally and time- wise but yet I really can't expect everyone to conform to my standard.

We slept in this morning while the others got up early for the last day of the festival event. This activity involves putting the bright red sindoor powder, used here to symbolize marriage, on the goddess statue....

And then on each other. 

While this sounds mildly entertaining, I've tangled with this red powder before and it doesn't mix well with my light hair and skin and ends up staining for days, so I'm ok with avoiding it when I can.

A big meal of chicken and fish is cooked in the house today to celebrate the end of the festival, so Roy and the guys went out this morning and had them killed 😳 and food preparations are now beginning.  Later on we'll do some shopping and roaming around town, so that sounds promising.

At this point in the game, I don't at all dread the 20 hour flight or airport logistics, I just keep thinking about getting home and back to my normal life. I'm always looking for spare moments of downtime, but after spending 2 weeks loitering around and doing lots of nothing, I think I'm better positioned to appreciate my hectic life. Just another lesson courtesy of India.

god Hopping

Today is the 2nd last day of the festival, so tradition is to basically go around visiting as many god statues as you can.   As expected, this was an exhausting experience of bumper to bumper traffic, heat and crowds.    As always I do my best to get along, but not going to lie today was really tiring.

In spite of being tired, I was able to locate some interesting sights to share with you from today's events.  Enjoy!

 Here in Southern India they celebrate today by worshiping their tools and vehicles. They decorate them like this:

This guy went all out:

Apparently you can also dress up your animals

Street vendor

Chicken delivery man??

Random cows in traffic

This guy was at one of the god stops and maybe won some kind of award I'm guessing- hard to confirm

Celebrity sighting: The voodoo guy from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. He wasn't giving autographs

I'm not sure what Homeland Security would say, but I may try getting these 2 into my carryon😍

My bored little girl!

The last statue we visited, quite beautiful.

A Festivus for the Rest of Us

The purpose of our visit to India this time is to celebrate the major Hindu festival of Dussehra. (pronounced dush-ra).  It basically celebrates good triumphing evil.  How our family celebrates is through visiting of god statues placed  various locations across town.

Because I had already visited India during Dussehra, I kinda knew what to expect, which as with most things here is both good and bad for me.  The fun of the holiday comes from all the interaction and activity at each of these festival locations.   Yesterday we visited 2 different places- one in the morning and one in the evening.  Morning is more about prayers and evening is more about music and eating, which honestly was much more fun and appealing to me.  There really isn't anything for me to do specifically at these events, but I do my best to not stand out like a turd in a punchbowl.



Look mom- he is sprinkling holy water! I swore he purposely got me right in the face, and I fought to not make the sign of the cross.



Shivali, me, and our best friend- the fan.

They sell guns here which is an interesting contrast.

The morning events started out with some worship and a free lunch.  These things never quite work out for me for some reason.  In spite of everyone's excitement, I find myself in a familiar sense of dread knowing the food and eating style and conditions are likely to push me far from my comfort zone.   I somehow managed, only once potentially offending the entire room when I accidentally pulled my plate back too soon from the gentlemen serving the 'god's food' (Catholic equivalent to a host) and a bit fell to the floor.  Luckily (or unluckily, however you look at that) I wasn't thrown out and we ate our lunch and moved on.  


As I am standing in the large crowds, everyone speaking different languages and everyone looking completely different than me, I can't help but feel a sense of sadness in a way.  It's a bit hard to describe, because people in general are nothing but nice to me so I have no specific reason to feel sad.  I guess it is part of the unfamiliarity and uncertainty of the unknown.  This 'quiet' time gives me a lot of opportunity to reflect and to people watch.  I've referred to this in past posts as my 'Sixth sense' because I am not at all concerned with what is being said that I can better focus on what is being done.  During these moments of observation I come to understand a lot more about the culture- not all is pleasant but much of it is just so vastly different than I just soak it all in.

Today in particular I felt very much out of my element.  I'm not sure if it is as I get older and find myself enjoying things more familiar or what, but I spend a lot of time wishing I could be at home.  It is during these times that I have tried to look for things that remind me a home so I can feel more comfortable.   I started to imagine what that moment would sound like if I could give it a theme song- and that definitely would be the Misfit song from my favorite childhood animated movie- Rudolph the red nosed reindeer.  In that moment I felt very much like a dentist in a room full of elves. : (

We went home and got comfortable, but to my surprise we had plans to attend another event.  This time Roy rented a car, so we have a little more flexibility in terms of getting places and this was a larger vehicle that can accommodate the entire group, which isn't overly common here.  In evening Bangalore traffic it took an hour to get there, so we first visited to God statue and my most interesting observation is those taking selfies with the statue!

After visiting the god statue for awhile we decided to go check out the food scene.   For just a moment I swore I smelled the 4H booth at the county fair and was longing for one of those greasy cheeseburgers, but in a mainly Hindu country you will never find beef products out in the open and certainly not at a religious event.  The smell brought me to home just for a second, nonetheless. I quickly realized that this setup is very much like a county fair.  Lots of different finger food options, socializing, and Roy even explained that used to cruise for chicks during these events- so very much like a county fair LOL!





As we looked around, I stumbled across this booth selling these twisted potatoes that were quite delicious.  They even put cheese on it!  It takes some mental negotiating to not put too much thought into this street food as far as preparation style and cleanliness, but as with most things here you do best when you just roll with it.






We had a few other things as well, no hot dogs or deep fried oreos, but I enjoyed them nonetheless.   I actually had a good time and felt a little bit more like I fit in.  It helped that I wore a long dress from home, like Pretty Woman, I am more prepared to deal with life in my own clothes.

The festival continues for several more days, but unfortunately today I could not awake from my coma like sleep to go today.  Also, my stomach was a bit upset so Shivali and I stayed in today.  Once I finally awoke after noon, I felt guilty for not going.  I saw pictures online of everyone dressed up and I felt bad for not being there, but honestly think they probably have a better time without having to worry about me and I also could use a little downtime.  Everyone here appears to really enjoy the closeness and constant interaction, but I find the inner introvert coming out while I'm here and prefer to have a bit of alone time when I can.


I never quite know what is coming up next, it isn't like I'm specifically excluded but I am very much just along for the ride.   I watched a few episodes of King of Queens yesterday and even though I wasn't in my own bed, in my own continent, in my own country or city I felt much better about where I was at.  This always happens right when we are about to leave, that somehow the adjusting process gets a little bit easier when you look for ways of bringing familiarity back into your environment. I guess that could be said about anything new a person takes on.   India will forever challenge me to find moments of comfort and home, but as always I'm up for the challenge.


 

A True Indian Experience

It's difficult to evaluate how 'true' of an Indian experience I have while I'm here.  Compared to other foreigners, one could argue that I go rather extreme.  Only once did I stay in a hotel here, the other 8 or so times I always stayed in the family home accompanied by 5-50 of our closest Indian relatives.  All with varying degrees of English speaking skills, all the way from rather fluent to nod and smile.

I've done most of the Indian cultural things at least once and lots of things I have done numerous times.  I've rode in an auto rickshaw, used an Indian style toilet, ate with my hand, visited ancient temples, touched elder's feet for blessings, wore a sari, blurted in line, slept on the floor next to relatives I only just met.    Having done all these things, does this qualify me as truly experiencing the culture?

We went to a big mall today, from the inside if you remove all the Indian people and ethnic clothing, you wouldn't really know you were in India.  There was a McDonald's (granted there are no cheeseburgers) and a Burger King and a KFC.  They sell jewelry, shoes and clothes you can see anywhere else in the world.   Our first stop at the mall- TGI Fridays.   I didn't ask to go, but my dear husband knew I likely wanted to go, so didn't ask if we should go or not, he just led the way.   I know at some level I disappoint him by not being that keen on eating the food that everyone else in the house is eating- Rice, Dal, and some curry made of various vegetables.   It is cooked everyday and everyone eats it everyday.   I have yet to eat this.  Part of me wants to try harder and just work to fit in better, and the other part of me wants to just scream all the way to McDonald's.   It's  a hard emotion to explain.  How difficult would it be for me to just eat it once a day to make everyone happy?   Will this make them happy?  Do they care either way?   I actually have no idea and I know they would never tell me.

Part of the confusion in being here is reading people.  What are their true intentions and true feelings.  They are good at masking over it and making things seem unimportant when they really are important.  There is also a lot of hidden meaning and body language that I probably miss along the way, although I generally consider myself rather intuitive when it comes to these things.

Overall, when I look back on all the times I have visited India, I would be hard pressed to find another American who has done these things as frequently, diligently, or nearly as adeptly as I have.  For the most part I am proud of that, not because I was forced to do it, but because I found a spot in my soul to welcome it and conform where I could while still maintaining who I am.   I could probably be criticized for not going as far as I could have or should have.  I can imagine there are others who eat the food everyday and follow all the rituals and enjoy the festivals more, but at the end of the day that isn't what makes or breaks me.   For me, it is about taking in the experience and opening my mind and my life to the opportunity of viewing the world just a little bit differently.  I've seen so many things, more than I could ever describe here which has altered my mind and my perception of good and bad, dirty and clean, safe and risky, and happy and sad.   How could I possibly regret those experiences by not feeling like I did enough?

As I sit in this back bedroom under a blaring fan sipping my ultra ice water, just outside my window I can hear the roar of traffic and wild street dogs barking and smell the neighbors cooking their dinner I do feel fused with the culture at some level- at my level.  Yes, it will be something I will always pursue and no I will probably never prefer India over Wisconsin but I can confirm that at this time and in this space I am at peace with how it is.

International Coma

One would assume with the number of times I have traveled internationally that I would be at a point where I easily adjust to the time zone difference, but as with everything that seems feasible and likely I have been challenged this round as much, if not more than other times.

It comes on suddenly, just as you are feeling well rested and fresh from the shower and have a little something to eat and thinking you will start the day.  A ton of bricks comes out of nowhere and wipes out the entire day.   I just woke up from a 4 hour nap, but luckily the entire house is sleeping as well so I guess technically it doesn't matter.

I should have no excuses for not feeling rested when I return home, although I always complain that India isn't a place to 'relax'.,   Our first few days here are just a lot of sitting around, which everyone seems content with.  I guess I don't know what else I would rather be doing, as I am not yet up to speed with the time zone this is probably the best option- although not exactly exciting.

Roy has been gone since I fell asleep attempting to get his motorcycle repaired.  It quit running yesterday and sounds like a pretty critical situation.  This makes him particularly sad as his dad purchased this bike for him when he first started working here in Bangalore.  I can't blame the guy for having such an intense connection to any purchase made by his dad.  His dad worked very hard his entire life to provide for the family and it warms my heart how much value Roy puts in these items.   So, the plan is to have it repaired and we'll figure out what to do with it from there.  Technically nobody is using it here anymore, but still he would never sell it or anything like that.

Not much else to report on unfortunately.  I thought of going out for a walk to look for some inspiration, but that seems like a lot of work so I just took a shower and did some laundry.  Luckily we have a washing machine here, but unfortunately there is no dryer so things are hung up on a line on this back porch thing to dry, but it is so humid and damp out that I don't see how they will dry.  Oh well, who needs dry underwear anyway. Speaking of underwear, this little outdoor patio faces a construction site, so where it was previously a mandatory requirement to hide your drying undergarments from the outside world, apparently this job site poses no real risk and therefore all items are hung with equal opportunity.

I am making due in the wet bathroom the best I can.  It isn't at all what I am accustomed to, but at least it has a warm shower with good pressure and a western toilet.  If you are following along, you already understand my struggles with the Indian wet bathroom.  It is a hot and humid little cave of a room that offers no specific luxury or comforts and in my opinion, not even particularly functional.  Every time you go in there, your feet are wet and the bottoms of your pants get wet which is annoying.  When you go to shower, there is no specific place to put your towel or dry clothes to change into, so I like to try and close off the entire attached bedroom so I can sufficiently 'air out' before getting dressed but I think most of the family thinks this is odd. Luckily they are nice, and would never say it.

Next up is the festival time and the reason we came at this time.  Everyone seems excited to go visit all these locations across the city where a statue of god which is honored in this festival is placed.
For me, I'm kinda just along for the ride trying not to offend anyone, not be backed into having to eat anything scary and not end up having to sit in one of these ultra dangerous 20 year old cheap patio type chairs that are meant to support a 80 pound person. Those are pretty much my biggest fears at the moment.

 My goal right now is just to try and stay awake until Roy gets back. Shivali is watching some videos about little kids eating pizza and I am starting to feel hungry for something not glopped over rice- maybe Rocky Rococo or Butch's. What I wouldn't give for a Papa Murphy. Pizza is available here but they are always trying to sneak in some weird ingredients like baby corn, hot peppers or meat that is meant to replicate sausage or pepperoni. I can usually make due, but usually ends up not quite hitting the mark. Oh well, off to my internet rounds!

 

The Day 3 Blues Strike Again

Day 3 always ends up being a hard one for me.  Still not over the jet lag or accustomed to the weather and already wishing I could eat almost anything from my kitchen that doesn't involve Indian spices or rice.    I consider myself very fortunate for having such an understanding family here that is constantly looking out for me and trying to figure out what will keep me happy.   I can imagine this isn't an easy task, as everyone here is accustomed to eating pretty much the same things day in and out, but having me here is probably something like getting an exotic pet.  You don't quite know what or when to feed it and you just try not to kill it off right away.

Today I was up early and thankfully Shivali is feeling better, so we both showered and dressed and had already rummaged for food prior to 8 am.   Here, most people either work late or just stay up late, so early mornings aren't really a thing. Being a morning person, this is another aspect of the continued challenges of adjusting to life here.  Roy headed off earlier to play badminton with some friends, so it was pretty much just me and the maid up and around- me playing on my phone and her cleaning up the house. (hired help is so cheap here that almost everyone takes advantage of that service)

The morning routine goes something like this- everyone sits around in their bedclothes until well past noon and nobody really seems to eat or wants to.  There are no specific plans made or discussed.  I guess this is why Roy always feels like weekends are for lounging, where I want to take advantage of the time off to go out and do something or work around the house doing things I don't get to do during the week while I'm working.   I guess this is just part of the lifestyle which I might not ever understand.

By 2 pm both of my SILs decided we needed to go out for some food and drinks and maybe a little shopping.  Always ready for a new adventure, I was happy to come along and get out of the house for a bit.   I was informed we would go to a bar and grill, which I am obviously familiar with but not in terms of Indian style so I wasn't quite sure what to expect.   After traveling 20 min by cab and going down a back alley and up an elevator that would certainly be condemned back home, I wasn't sure what was going to be on the other side, but I was pleasantly surprised by a very cool and shabby chic, eclectic place with an open air atmosphere and cool music.  We were seated along the outer wall in a fun pillow covered bench/table combo where we ordered 3 Sex on the Beach drinks just for the fun of it, and a few appetizers.  We laughed and talked and shared stories and I can easily say this is the most at home I have felt in more than a week.   As we finished up our drinks and food, 18 and Life by Skid Row played in the background and I was instantly transported back to 1990.  I could never have imagined hearing that song in a bar in India someday when we used to sing to it as a teenager, but that goes to show you that you never quite know what life has in store for you.











We headed downstairs for some dessert to a previously verified as totally acceptable Krispy Kreme shop.  As we made our donut selections, the counter worker informed us of some free items available if we purchased so many.  After some initial confusion on the free item count, we settled in to our table only to find some of the 'free' items as being charged for.  Most of the donuts had been packaged up for Shivali and others at home, but a few items we intended to eat there.  My SIL argued with the counter guy who ultimately agreed to give back some money.  A short time later he appeared at our table in an attempt to repo 2 of the 'free' donuts.  In the confusion, we handed the small extra box back but I instantly regretted not licking them and waiting for his reaction on whether or not he was going to still want them back.   I didn't see whether he ate them, tossed them, or put them back in the case but the entire episode struck me as odd.  Luckily I was distracted by a threesome who came in and ordered 1 donut and proceeded to split it using tiny spoons meant for the ice cream the shop also serves.   What strikes me the most about this is that I've seen people eat all sorts of mushy, watery, and otherwise wet foods with their bare, unwashed hand but yet they have some aversion to eating a donut without a utensil? I have to think about that one.


The ride home was otherwise uneventful, except for the excruciating 1 hour drive through bumper to bumper traffic.  I've learned that a cab driver willing to drive into incoming traffic to get you ahead of the pack is a good thing, in spite of my better judgment.

I am not at all sure what tomorrow has in store.  As normal there is no discussion of plans or specific activities so I guess I'll just wait and see.   It is almost 9:30 here and there is no signs yet of dinner intentions, so I guess I'll just make my internet rounds as I wait for something I am not that keen on eating to materialize and we'll go from there.  Then off to bed for another night of laying awake most of the time and staring at the wall.  Good Times.

A Hospitable Hospital experience

Well folks, we arrived in India to find pretty much the same status as normal.  The immigration line was long and most of the people working there had limited interest in helping.  The gentlemen who stamped our passports had a wool headband on, so I figured that meant it was 'cold' outside which was a welcome finding.  After collecting our bags, we ventured out of the airport to find the most glorious breeze. Temps have been low due to all the rain, so that is good news for me who never seems to catch a weather break here.  Thank God headband guy knew what he was talking out.

My in-laws moved to the other side of town, which is great news when you want to shop or do almost anything BUT come from the airport.  Luckily it was early morning, so traffic wasn't too bad, but the trip was upwards of an hour from the airport which was only moderately tolerable.

Shivali picked up some kind of bug in London so hadn't been feeling well our last day.  Things took a turn for the worst once the plane landed and she tossed her cookies all over seat 28F. Luckily the flight attendants and most passengers were sympathetic to her, as she looks so sad and helpless. (That is until they discover her mess is made up of English sausage pieces and Orange juice)

Upon arriving at my youngest SIL and BIL's apartment,  I found it to be very similar to the apartment they previously stayed at on the other side of town.  2 bedroom, 2 bathroom- only one Western....(bah,bah,bah) and the good news is that the AC unit Roy bought for last year's wedding event was moved to this apartment and is located in the room we get to sleep in- score!

What I am also finding is the power and water is going out regularly, in typical Indian form.  I am being informed this is unusual, but in my experience unexplained power outages are just everyday stuff that everyone works around. I am generally the only one who seems annoyed by this, but today my youngest SIL was quite irritated as she was getting ready for work with no available water. Don't blame her in the least, and I feel that much of the disfunction of India is perpetrated by the tolerant attitude of most people so I'm always a little happy to see someone putting up a stink about things I consider necessities of life.  As usual, we adjust, luckily the cooler weather doesn't make the fan 100% necessary at all times which is good.

Shivali is still not feeling well as of this morning, so my BIL made plans for us to take her to a local Children's Hospital.  I felt this was a little overkill until I got there and found out that doctors there take their appointments so they can make rounds, etc. which makes sense.   I heard the horror stories of hospital sights while Roy's dad was sick in the hospital years ago, so I didn't quite know what to expect, but had to go with it because she definitely needed to see someone.   Upon exiting the apartment building, I believe I found the source of all the power outages:



I looked for someone to alert, but construction sites (or what seems like a construction site) isn't always actively being worked and honestly the workers never seem that official, in their flip flops and dress pants so it isn't always easy to detect who is a would be worker, so I'm going to just assume they know and move on.     I also spotted these 'houses' across the street from the apartment building we are staying at.  My SIL said they were the construction worker's family homes that they setup when working locally.   I simply cannot imagine staying there or how one would manage, but as normal I see a couple of ladies doing laundry outside and seeming to manage just fine.  I'm guessing there isn't much of a bathroom situation inside or any comforts, which makes me feel quite sad.


As for the hospital, overall I was quite pleased.  It was clean, modern and the children's area had a big mural of Frozen and had comfortable seating (Hint: you're going to wait) and the check in process wasn't too dreadful.   It was well past 11 when we saw the doctor for our 10 am 'appointment'.  He called us himself into a small room off the main waiting room- it appeared all the doctors had them which worked out fine.  The room was air conditioned and comfortable.  He spoke nicely and attended to Shivali is a knowledgeable and kind way, then quickly prescribed some meds for her viral infection and stomach issues.  We walked down the hall to the pharmacy and before I knew it, we were off.






The transportation here is always fun, mostly we have been using a cab service you can quickly book online when you need it.  Today's pickup was courtesy of Billy the Kid, who seemed to have not showered since 1997.




Luckily the trip home is fast and Shivali is feeling much better.   Both my SILs and BIL are working today as a final day before the festival activities start, so we mostly slept the rest of the day and tried to get caught up from the jet lag.   Hoping to get out and about this weekend and get some new material and adventure to report on!

Testing 1, 2, 3.....

Is this thing still on?   Sorry it's been awhile, but I'm happy to report we are leaving for India in the morning- with a 3 day stopover in London, but if I find something relevant I'll try and post!

As I am assembling all the last minute necessities for our trip, I am preparing for what is hopefully a calm and relaxing visit with the fam.  While relaxing and India rarely go into the same sentence for me, I'm going to give it my best.   Hoping to find some interesting adventure and give attention to posts and sharing all the amazing things India has to offer with all of you.  

Be sure and sign up for email updates so you can easily be alerted to new posts available.  I look forward to sharing my travels with all of you!