Favorite wedding time moments

As we are finishing all the cleaning up from the wedding, and the last remaining guests have left for home I wanted to share some of my favorite moments from this last week.  What I thought would be an awkward invasion of relatives that I didn't know and couldn't communicate with, has turned out to be a heart warming, enlightening experience for me.  I knew the challenge was big, and I gave it everything I had, and the feedback I have gotten has been amazing.  Roy's relatives are from a small town and only know of American people through movies or what they have heard, so obviously that doesn't always portray a great image for me as marrying the oldest grandson of this relation, but somehow they opened their hearts and looked past anything they thought they knew and I think Roy's mom summed it up best this morning when she conveyed their feelings about me as "bhalo, bhalo, bhalo" ....... love, love,  love.

So, onto my favorite moments:

1.)The night before the wedding, we hosted Shubro's whole family here for a wedding ritual and a dinner.  It was a packed house and we were all dressed up.  I had never met any of them before, and they were definitely curious about me.  I found them warm and welcoming (in some families, having an 'oddity' as someone married to a foreigner could be a deal breaker in the arranged marriage world) and we got along well.  At one point, Roy and I were standing in front of all of them and I almost wondered if they were waiting for me to make a speech. Roy's mom asked me how I was doing in Bengali and I responded my overly practiced phrase, to the amazement of all the relatives.  For the grand finale I pulled the Bengali phrasebook from my suitcase in which everyone responded in an eruption of applause.

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2.)The afternoon after the post wedding rituals, everyone came home and went to bed.  I had trouble sleeping and was wondering around when I decided to try and illustrate how many people were in our home.  Keep in mind, Indian people never wear shoes in the house but prefer to take off shoes and leave them outside.  I took the piles and lined them all up in an attempt to show the volume.

After I took this picture I walked back into the house and noticed a pile of apx 10 more pairs under the chair by the front door.

 

3.) During one of the religious pre-wedding ceremonies, Shivali must have gotten hungry and spotted one of her favorites- a big pile of nannies (bananas) just sitting there waiting to be eaten.  Before anyone could react, she ran up and grabbed one- but what she didn't realize they were in the process of being blessed (imagine running up grabbing a host from the plate on the church alter as the priest is turning them into the body of Jesus and running back to your seat to eat it- this is the equivalent)

Here is Shivali casing the ceremony and the evidence:

 

 

4.) One of my favorite people at the wedding was Roy's Dad's 2nd oldest sister's husband (I call her Weird uncle aunt, due to the fact that for many years she kept a gentlemen in her home that my husband refers to as Uncle, but he seemed more of a boy-toy to me, but I really don't understand the nature of their relationship but I know enough to call it weird)   When he first arrived, he would only walk past the bedroom where we were sitting and pull his glasses down and stare at us with his mouth open and not say a word.  Slowly, I learned he was quite entertaining and spoke some English so I spent more time with him.  He actually reminded me of my dad, only in a quiet form. He sat next to me at the wedding and narrated the whole time. I am really going to miss this guy:

Yesterday before they left, we went to a famous temple in Bangalore.  I had been there a few years ago, but clearly forgot about what it takes to get there.  Its up on a hill, so you take stairs and paths all the way there.  This guy is 78 years old, and somehow kept up the whole time, but on the way down I noticed he was getting very tired. Although his wife and daughter were there, they seem to leave him behind a lot.  I made a point to walk with him, and when I helped him to the cab they were taking back home he said- "You help me a lot, bless you".

 

 

5.) One of the pre-wedding ceremonies involved the smearing of turmeric paste on the bride.  I had always heard that this was done using the same paste that was smeared and scraped off the groom the day before, (although odd, I feel it is a romantic concept) but we didn't do it for some reason.  What I didn't realize is everyone was to get turmeric paste smeared on them!

 

6.)  I learned fast that South Africa Uncle was by far the most interesting uncle.  He worked in South Africa for some time, hence the name.  During the night we were all getting our henna done he was sitting there talking to us in what I call Roy's Mom and Dad's 'death-trap' chairs.  They are what anyone else would say are outside patio chairs that are way past their prime and frequently the legs split if someone weighing more than a buck sit in them.  He is a very animated character, so mid story the legs start splitting and he nearly falls and gets up and screams which only further enhances the rest of the story.   I really liked him, he's like a cartoon character.

 

7.) This morning as the last 4 guests were leaving, we walked downstairs to see them out. All of the aunts said something in Bengali to me and kissed my forehead in which I responded with the cultural touching of both of their feet.  It was discovered that the daughter of the Weird-uncle aunt did not put her bindi (red dot) on this morning which maybe was a bad traveling omen, but luckily I saved the day by ceremoniously peeling it from my forehead and sticking it on hers.  I said goodbye to my favorite Dadu (grandfather) from #4 above and off they were in the taxi.  In a moment worthy of a new Gone with the Wind ending, we all continuously waved as they drove down the street and around the corner.  I was truly a touching moment.